“If you asked me for my New Year resolution, it would be to find out who I am.” – – Cyril Cusack

{3:12 minutes to read} I came across this quote and thought it very fitting for the New Year.  The Greeks had it right with the maxim “Know thyself,” which was know thyselfcarved into Apollo’s temple at Delphi.

At the beginning of 2015, I wrote a blog about the fact that I never make New Year’s resolutions. (If you did not have an opportunity to read it, click here.)

Coming across this quote, however, made me think outside the box of the usual resolutions!

We may think that we know ourselves but when we are faced with new and unexpected life challenges, we often need to dig even deeper into ourselves. It is during those difficult times, often very challenging ones, that we may find opportunities to learn something new. It is in those moments when we think that we have reached our limit and can do no more, that we seem to find the strength to keep pushing through.

I personally have found myself in places where I just could not figure out what to do, where to turn, or how to come to terms with a problem. My head and sometimes my chest felt like they were going to explode, as ideas went round and round, leading nowhere. Then after much exploration, and when I least expected it, a solution slowly appeared. What a sense of relief!

I will not lie. It does take effort and there are often very difficult moments.  But in the end, there is frequently a breakthrough and the sense of having learned something more about myself.

And so what does this have to do with divorce mediation or any other type of crisis that you are trying to resolve? It actually has a lot to do with it. Mediation creates a platform for you to find your own solutions and make important decisions. With the help of your mediator, you can better understand:

  • Why you want what you want;
  • Why you need what you are asking for; and,
  • What can better fulfill your needs.

It may not necessarily be what you thought it would be in the first place. And, in the process, all parties may learn more about themselves and about each other.

So for this year, my personal resolution is to continue to try to better understand who I am. That is what I will strive to do and I hope you do too.

Jennifer Safian

jennifer safian. divorce and family mediator
divorce and family mediation
upper east side of manhattan (nyc)
new york, ny
(212) 472-8626
info@safianmediation.com
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