“You can’t always get what you want;
You can’t always get what you want;
But, if you try sometimes,
You just might find,
You get what you need.”

Mick Jagger and Keith Richards

NYC divorce and family mediator, Jennifer Safian, discusses The Rolling Stones' song, You Can't Get What You Want, and how it relates to mediation.

By Silvia Klippert (painting) / John Klippert (photo) (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

A few weeks ago, I found myself humming this tune over and over. And as I hummed, I began remembering the lyrics and realized that Mick Jagger and Keith Richards must have known something the rest of us didn’t.

Many of us struggle with not getting what we WANT from our partners, family members, friends, colleagues at work, etc. But is it really about what we WANT, or more about what we NEED? If we take some time to understand what all of our NEEDS really are, with a little good will and effort, I believe we can find a solution to satisfy everyone.

Mediation certainly offers that opportunity. In mediation, you will each find a safe space to speak up. In the midst of a conflict, it is often hard to really listen as we are so preoccupied with our own feelings and thoughts. Your mediator will help you to “hear” and understand what each of you wants to express, so that a compromise can be found.

If you are in a conflict with someone, and cannot work it out between the two of you, try mediation.

Still struggling with wants vs needs? Bring the below YouTube version of the song with you to the mediation session. Play it on your iPod or iPhone at the beginning, middle and end of the meeting. You may find yourself thanking Mick and Keith for helping you move forward.

 

Jennifer Safian

jennifer safian. divorce and family mediator
divorce and family mediation
upper east side of manhattan (nyc)
new york, ny
(212) 472-8626
info@safianmediation.com
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