Advice on Divorce

spirit leaving hand

The time is now — let your anger go!

By Jennifer Safian / September 23, 2019

{4 minutes to read}  We may think that being angry at someone will make that person suffer, but the truth is by holding grudges, we harm ourselves more than we harm the other person. It eats at our insides; it infiltrates our thoughts; and often prevents us from moving ahead with our own lives. I…

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Hand writing Time to Plan concept with blue marker on transparent wipe board.

A parenting schedule? Hmm, we’ll figure it out later . . .

By Jennifer Safian / August 21, 2019

{3:30 minutes to read}  Robert and Chris had mediated their divorce a few years back. They had agreed that since Chris was moving away to another part of the country, it would be in the children’s best interest to stay in their home with Robert and remain at the same school. Robert and Chris had…

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parent’s divorce or spouse’s divorce: it’s all in how we say it

By Jennifer Safian / July 30, 2019

{3 minutes to read}   James was brought in to see a child psychologist by his mother: “I am very sad,” he said, “because my parents are getting divorced.” The therapist responded: “Your parents are not getting divorced, the spouses are getting divorced.” James was not quite sure what to make of this answer so the…

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Sign pinned to a bulletin board that says By helping others...we help ourselves

The Quality of Kindness

By Jennifer Safian / July 8, 2019

{4 minutes to read}  Kindness is defined as the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. Affection, gentleness, warmth, concern, and care are words that are associated with kindness. While kindness can have a connotation of meaning someone is naive or weak, that is not the case. Being kind often requires courage and strength. 

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What NOT To Do Before Divorce Mediation [VIDEO]

By Jennifer Safian / June 4, 2019

In my mediation practice, I generally offer a preliminary consultation to couples so that they can get an understanding of the mediation process. At the end of it, I give them a list of the documents that they need to gather for their first appointment, but I never have given them a list of what…

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The Difficult Conversations of Divorce

By Jennifer Safian / April 18, 2019

{3:30 minutes to read} Short of admitting to ourselves that our marriage is over, telling our children, parents, friends, and even people at work, can be most difficult –  even scary. Telling our children. We feel guilty about disrupting their stability as we know that their lives will be changed considerably by the divorce.

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Dignity and Divorce

By Jennifer Safian / November 14, 2018

{3:20 minutes to read}  My colleague Joy Rosenthal, an attorney and mediator whom I admire for her ability to always put other people’s needs ahead of hers, wrote an article after reading “Dignity: Its Essential Role in Resolving Conflict” by Donna Hicks, PhD. I was so impressed by Joy’s words that I preferred to quote…

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Fear Part I: I’m Getting a Divorce and I’m Scared! Help!

By Jennifer Safian / April 3, 2018

{4:12 minutes to read}  I wrote a series of articles a few years ago on the subject of Fear. Fear is an emotion that we may all experience when going through major transitions in our lives. So I thought it might be helpful to publish them again, for those of you who may not have…

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Meditation? Mediation? Was My Mother Right After All? by Jennifer Safian

Meditation? Mediation? Was My Mother Right After All?

By Jennifer Safian / March 21, 2018

{2:36 minutes to read}  When I became a mediator, my mother did not understand why her supposedly down-to-earth daughter was now doing meditation, that is Medi-T-ation! She would keep asking me regularly with a semi-amused/semi-critical tone: “So did you meditate today?” When I explained that I did not do meditation but mediation, that is Medi-A-tion,…

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Baby Steps by Jennifer Safian

Baby Steps

By Jennifer Safian / October 31, 2017

{1:36 minutes to read} I was looking back through some of my previous articles and came across a 2-part series that discusses the different approaches some couples take in order to put an agreement in place. As I was reading them again, I thought the insights were worth a revisit. The first one, entitled “Baby Steps,”…

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