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the positive side of fear

Jennifer Safian discusses the how you can use fear constructively.In Part I of this series, we talked about what fear is and its negative impact. In this blog, we are going to look at some of the more positive aspects of the emotion of fear.

Fear is a universal emotion; everyone, consciously or unconsciously has experienced fear in some way or another. Though we don’t think of it as such, fear can be a healthy emotion. It is an instinctual response which can be used to channel our energies away from perceived threats into directions that seem safe.

So what should we do when faced with fear?

First, we acknowledge it. Initially we may feel paralyzed by it, however remaining in that static place will not make it disappear, nor will it help us feel better. If we find excuses and wait for the fear to disappear, we may be waiting a long time. Taking action and responsibility for ourselves is necessary because, depending on the circumstances, no one else is going to do it for us.

In a relationship, if you are waiting for the other person to make things better, it can only lead to a further deterioration of that relationship. Fear may also cause you to lose confidence and feel bad about yourself. You may think that you are surrounded by confident people, including your spouse, who you believe have no fear. This can make you feel even worse. In reality, many of those people, including your spouse, are also very fearful. The difference is that they do not let the fear take them over and they attempt to take charge of their lives and make changes so they can move forward.

In Part 3, we will explore the list of fears noted in Part 1 and think about how we can start making constructive decisions and plans.

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Jennifer Safian

jennifer safian. divorce and family mediator
divorce and family mediation
upper east side of manhattan (nyc)
new york, ny
(212) 472-8626
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