NYC family and divorce mediator, Jennifer Safian of safianmediiation.com, explains why she resolves every new year to not make resolutions. December 31: New Year’s resolutions

  1. I’m going to lose weight.
  2. I’m starting an exercise plan.

January 5: How is it going?

  1. I’m eating as much food as I can over the weekend because my diet starts on Monday and I will never be able to eat these foods ever again!
  2. I didn’t get to the gym today. It was raining and too cold outside. I’ll go tomorrow, if the sun is out.

I wonder how many people make resolutions and actually stick to them?

My New Year’s resolution has always been to make NO resolutions.

We are all very quick to make promises to ourselves to:

  • Start a new diet
  • Join a gym and actually exercise in the gym, not just pay the membership
  • Stop smoking
  • Take care of the all the things sitting on our to-do list

We make these promises in good faith, and feel that the New Year is the best opportunity to make a fresh start. So why is it that many of us are not able to keep our promises to ourselves beyond a few days, weeks or months. It’s not because we lied or because we are weak, but because:

  • Initially, we set our expectations too high and then ran out of steam. We may need to pace ourselves in order to continue working towards reaching our goals, and maintaining them for an extended period of time.
  • Life sometimes throws us a curveball, and we are unable to keep such discipline while facing certain challenges.
  • We may need to get a support system in place before moving forward.
  • We are just human beings, not Superman! We need to be firm but still kind to ourselves and figure out the ways that work for each of us.

This is not the time to beat yourself up, throw your hands up in the air and let it all go. If you want to make resolutions, do make them, but also make a plan to help increase your chances of success.

And, if like me, you don’t make any resolutions, don’t use this as an excuse not to make necessary changes to your life. Tackle one task at a time, prioritize, get yourself the support you need and move forward.

The New Year has lots in store for all of us! Let’s make the best of it.

Happy New Year to All!

Jennifer Safian

Jennifer Safian

jennifer safian. divorce and family mediator
divorce and family mediation
upper east side of manhattan (nyc)
new york, ny
(917) 881 5206
jpsafian@gmail.com
Jennifer Safian

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