do we have to abide by the prenup?

June and Michael came into mediation with three copies of their prenuptial agreement: one for each of them and one for me. As they handed me my copy, they said that they both wanted a divorce and that it was very easy because all the terms had been spelled out in their prenup.

As we proceeded to read it together, they realized that they no longer wanted most of what they had agreed to many years ago and worried that they had to abide by those terms.

I helped them explore together why they felt these conditions were no longer workable in their present situation. They assumed when they signed their prenup that Michael would have the highest paycheck of the two of them and that in case of divorce, he would have to support June for a certain number of years depending on the length of the marriage and the time she would need to be self sufficient.

They actually had a schedule all spelled out in case they ended up getting a divorce after 3, 5, 10 or more years. Life circumstances don’t always turn out as planned.

I told June and Michael that as long as they both agreed not to follow the prenup, they could write new terms for their divorce taking into account their current respective situations. They were much relieved and worked out together a mutually satisfying divorce agreement.

Mediation turned out to be the best platform for them to create a new agreement, together, which fulfilled their present needs.

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Jennifer Safian

jennifer safian. divorce and family mediator
divorce and family mediation
upper east side of manhattan (nyc)
new york, ny
(917) 881 5206
jpsafian@gmail.com