{3 minutes to read}  

  • Do you remember when your 2-year-old son fell and looked up at you before deciding whether to cry or not? Your response was to smile at him, pick him up and reassure him that he was ok. The child immediately felt better and kept the tears at bay.
  • On their way to dinner at a restaurant, a couple had an argument that left them angry with one another. As they sat down with their friends, it was obvious that something was wrong. The dinner conversation was stilted and uncomfortable, making the whole evening awkward.
  • A couple entered the mediation room while the husband was on a business call and very agitated. Just as they were about to start the session, his phone rang a second time and then again. He excused himself twice to take the calls. His wife was very angry because they had to make important decisions together regarding their imminent separation and divorce, but he would not put his business aside. By the time the husband sat down, the wife was no longer able to have a calm conversation.
  • Several family members had agreed to come to mediation to discuss the physical, emotional, and financial care of their elderly mother, who was suffering from dementia. As the group gathered, one could feel their exasperation and frustration with one another in the air. It took some time for each to regain composure so that they could figure out together the best plan for their mother’s care.

The four examples above illustrate how people’s demeanor can affect those around them. Whether with your child, the friends you are joining for dinner, your relatives, or people you are meeting to discuss a business plan, your manner, and mindset will have an impact within the first moments of your encounter.

Here are a few tips you may find helpful depending on the nature of your meeting:

  1. Take a few deep breaths, inhaling and exhaling for six counts, each at least five times. You will notice a change in yourself.
  2. Check in with yourself: How am I feeling? What is my mindset? How does my attitude affect the energy I am bringing into the meeting?
  3. Start with a smile and an open body language by not crossing your arms in front of your body.  
  4. Depending on who you are meeting, hug, or offer your hand for a handshake. Enter with a positive attitude and uplifting words. It will favorably affect those around you immediately.
  5. If appropriate, show appreciation for those around you and the many good things you have in your life. Appreciation and gratitude are contagious.

Can you remember a situation where someone’s mindset and demeanor, positive or negative, might have affected those around you? Feel free to share below.

Jennifer Safian

Jennifer Safian

jennifer safian. divorce and family mediator
divorce and family mediation
upper east side of manhattan (nyc)
new york, ny
(917) 881 5206
jpsafian@gmail.com
Jennifer Safian

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