how many mediated divorces end up in an agreement?

This is a question that many people ask during their initial call regarding the divorce mediation process. While over three-quarters of the couples I meet with do complete the process, they don’t all work through it at the same pace, and other life circumstances can interfere which may bring the process to a halt. A required work relocation, a desire to move away from New York, or an illness in the family are some events I have encountered that can either derail the process or stop it altogether.

Most couples will finalize their agreement within months of their first mediation session. Others will schedule meetings further apart due to their own preference, business trips, vacations, or school breaks which will delay the time to completion.

Some come in for two or three sessions and then take an extended break. While I wonder what may have happened to them, they show up again one or even two years later. They needed more time to adjust to the idea of separation, or they thought they would give their marriage another chance. In the end, they decided to return to mediation and finalize the process.

In some cases, one party may be fully engaged while the other is still hopeful that reconciliation may happen and will drag their feet to prevent any progress from being made. The spouse eager to move forward may stop the mediation, retain an attorney, file for divorce, and pursue the more litigious route. This may not necessarily expedite the process, but they are sending a message to the other party that there is no going back. Very few cases end up in court unless there is an extreme disagreement regarding custody or a considerable financial dispute.

The truth is, if both parties are fully engaged and committed to coming out with a mediated agreement, they will. Will there be some concessions and accommodations made? Most likely.

I often remind my clients that adjustments and compromises are made even in the best marriages, relationships with relatives or friends, or business partnerships. So, why would a divorce be any different? There will be some, give or take, with all the myriad issues that need to be worked out. Each party may have to make that extra effort that will allow them to move forward, and sometimes, being generous may result in a return gesture in their favor.

We all know the saying, “Where there is a will, there is a way.” This does not mean that it will be easy, but if you are both determined to get through the mediation process and end up with a full agreement, you will. I have witnessed this many times over.

About
Latest Posts

Jennifer Safian

jennifer safian. divorce and family mediator
divorce and family mediation
upper east side of manhattan (nyc)
new york, ny
(917) 881 5206
jpsafian@gmail.com