i am not who you think

{2 minutes to read} Some people who meet me for the first time mention that they detect a slight accent in the way I speak, and they want to know where I come from. Having grown up in Paris, my first language was French, and so from there, I was immediately characterized as “French,” with all that they envision of a French person. More confusion sets in when they find out that I was in fact born in Morocco. At that point, they surmise that I also speak Arabic, which I don’t, or that I am Muslim when in reality I am Jewish and I don’t speak Hebrew. On top of that, I may add that one set of grandparents lived in Spain and the other in Switzerland, and that I became a US citizen at age 9 because my father fought with the US Army from 1942-45. Is your head spinning yet? I will spare you many other details as to my education, and professional, and personal life, but I would be happy to share more if you are so inclined to reach out to me.

The point of this article is that we should not judge people by their covers. Each of us is made of multiple layers of backgrounds, interests, experiences, and, of course, contradictions, beyond the states or countries we come from, our accents, or the languages we speak. It’s those complexities that make each of us a rich, interesting, attractive, and intriguing person.

So, when you meet someone, don’t stop at the door. Be willing to find out what lies beneath the surface. What you see is not always what you get.

For those of you who are going through hard times in your relationships, I would like to suggest that you also be willing to consider that your partner’s behavior may not necessarily be the result of what you assumed it was, and that you don’t draw conclusions too soon. There may be outside forces coming into play. Give them and yourselves a chance to explore things together before you throw in the towel and move towards a separation. Be honest, talk openly, and be willing to hear each other out as well. Mediation can help you with re-establishing communication that’s possibly been lost.

I am always available for you whether we speak in French, Spanish, or English. You can contact me through my website www.safianmediation.com or call 917-881-5206.

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Jennifer Safian

jennifer safian. divorce and family mediator
divorce and family mediation
upper east side of manhattan (nyc)
new york, ny
(917) 881 5206
jpsafian@gmail.com