{2 minutes to read} Talking about money with your partner is a subject frequently fraught with fear. For some people, it’s because they were raised in a family where money was never discussed. For others, these conversations always created a lot of tension within the family. 

I have worked with separating couples where one person was a saver, and the other more of a spender, but too embarrassed to admit it. In other situations, one of the partners took charge of the family’s finances as they were the only one earning income, or they worked in the financial arena. The other partner did not “know anything” about finances, did not want to be involved, or was too afraid to bring up the matter, therefore letting their partner take the lead.

In each example, there was little or no communication about money. The relationship broke down, either because the couple’s financial situation became dire, and/or for other reasons. The lack of communication about money made the separation process much more stressful for all the parties. 

While it may seem pretty straightforward, talking about money often brings up uncomfortable emotions, which could be fear, anxiety, guilt, shame, or envy. Rather than looking at money as a tool to create a life for themselves, some people attach the value of making or not making money to their self-worth.

Why not make a concerted effort to have the money conversation? This can be done whether you are a new couple or are already in a relationship. Find time to share your wishes and goals, then devise a spending plan together. 

In our next article, “Demystifying the Money Talk,” we will discuss how you and your partner can start working together and create a financial plan for your family.

Jennifer Safian

Jennifer Safian

jennifer safian. divorce and family mediator
divorce and family mediation
upper east side of manhattan (nyc)
new york, ny
(917) 881 5206
jpsafian@gmail.com
Jennifer Safian

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