why doesn’t the mediator tell us what to do when we are stuck?

{2 minutes to read} Separating or divorcing parents don’t always see eye to eye when creating parenting schedules or discussing how to divide their property. Occasionally, as they say, they get “stuck.” Each party thinks their position is the one that should be adopted and refuses to consider the other person’s request.

While it is not my role to tell the parties what to do, be the arbitrator, or force a decision upon them, I will help them brainstorm and explore different options for them to consider. With this exercise, one idea may engender another and little by little, the parties start thinking outside the box and realize that there are many ways to approach a particular issue.

In negotiations, people may face situations where they believe they have hit a wall and that nothing can be done. Or they feel that their answer is THE right answer and no other will be viable. I have seen situations, even for myself, where a different idea turned out to have a better outcome than the one I initially proposed. We need to open our minds and accept that there is not just ONE solution to every problem. Solutions can be found through all parties’ efforts, flexibility, and willingness.

Similar situations can arise in other types of conflict between family members, roommates, and even business associates.

If you are “stuck” in a conflict and need help, mediation can offer you the space to explore options and together make decisions. Feel free to reach out to me for help and support.

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Jennifer Safian

jennifer safian. divorce and family mediator
divorce and family mediation
upper east side of manhattan (nyc)
new york, ny
(917) 881 5206
jpsafian@gmail.com