Beware of Unilateral Actions in Divorce

{2:30 minutes to read} During a separation or divorce, taking action without prior discussion with the other spouse, can cause a tsunami in the midst of a mediation!

One of my clients went to the pharmacy to refill some prescriptions only to find out that his co-pay was $350 instead of the $15 or $20 that he usually paid.

Unbeknownst to him, his soon-to-be-ex wife had removed him from the family health plan that had previously covered them through her employer, without notifying him. He found himself all of a sudden without health insurance coverage, even though they had agreed in mediation that he would remain on the plan until the divorce was final, at which time he would have taken out his own separate plan. He was also giving her money to cover some expenses during this interim period, which included payment of the additional premium for the family.

Another couple reported that before they even started the mediation process, the wife had moved a substantial amount of money out of the joint account into her own individual account.

Whether out of fear or out of anger, she made this move thinking that the money taken would become hers, and no longer be part of the marital pot. She later found out that no matter where the money was located, whether in a joint account or in a separate account, the money earned during the marriage would still be considered marital property.

Couples go into mediation to work things out in good faith. Changing a jointly made decision, especially without notifying the other party is unfair and not consistent with the rules of mediation. It is frequently seen as a betrayal and takes the parties down an adversarial path, which can certainly derail a mediation.

If you are in the midst of divorce mediation, please don’t take any rushed, unilateral actions regarding marital assets, or make changes to pre-agreed terms without first discussing them with your spouse. Those drastic changes can have personal and/or legal consequences and lead to more stress than you need during that time. In the end, drastic changes can cause problems rather than the benefits you expected.

Social Media Comments

The breach of trust caused by a unilateral decision or action on the part of one of the divorcing parties can derail the entire mediation and send them off to the nightmare of litigation – I have seen this many times!

(Susan E. Guthrie on Linkedin)

People who do those things don’t think about the consequences.

(Jennifer Safian on Linkedin)

Jennifer that is so true – your article will hopefully help some people going into the process.

(Susan E. Guthrie on Linkedin)

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Jennifer Safian

jennifer safian. divorce and family mediator
divorce and family mediation
upper east side of manhattan (nyc)
new york, ny
(917) 881 5206
jpsafian@gmail.com