house divided {2:30 minutes to read}  In my mediation practice, I sometimes encounter divorcing couples whose intent is to keep owning their vacation home together and take turns using it. They love the home and its location, they are both sentimentally attached to the home, and/or they think it would be a good base for the children.

While this sounds like a lovely idea, a shared home could become a painful source of conflict. A number of issues should therefore be addressed in advance, even if they seem superfluous, and included in the divorce agreement.

Below are a sample of the questions that may come up. 

  1. How are you going to share the costs of the house, especially if you don’t have similar financial positions? One of you may want the latest dishwasher which answers to Alexa, while the other would be happy with the basic model. Don’t forget mortgage, taxes, utilities, outdoor and indoor maintenance, and/or repairs. 
  2. Who is using the house when? Every other week, weekend, or month?
  3. Can you bring a significant other to stay with you in the house? 
  4. How will you manage the laundry, the cleaning? And what about the contents of the refrigerator? Like if one of you left a nice bottle of white wine in the refrigerator only to find it is gone when you returned two weeks later and wanted to enjoy some of it.
  5. Is there one car that you can both use while staying in the house? How will you share the costs of the maintenance of the car? One of you may fill the tank, only to find out upon your return that it is three-quarters empty. 
  6. Will your children always stay in the house when you are there, or can you each use the house on occasion without the children, leaving them with the other parent.

These are only some of the questions that come up. Mediation is the ideal venue to explore and discuss such issues. If you or someone you know needs help with joint ownership of a vacation home, please give me a call. 

Jennifer Safian

Jennifer Safian

jennifer safian. divorce and family mediator
divorce and family mediation
upper east side of manhattan (nyc)
new york, ny
(917) 881 5206
jpsafian@gmail.com
Jennifer Safian

Latest posts by Jennifer Safian (see all)