divorce and family mediation in nyc

jennifer safian, divorce mediator

212-472-8626    info@safianmediation.com

Preserving Your Parental Relationship Through Mediation by Jennifer Safian{3:54 minutes to read} Brad and his wife Claire had decided to divorce, and Brad paid his attorney a large retainer to file the divorce action. But when he told his wife, she proposed they resolve their divorce through mediation. Brad called me and was wondering whether they could come to mediation even though he had already filed. I told him he could. (See my two previous articles: Do We File for Divorce Before Starting Mediation? and Filing the Divorce Action)

Even though he knew that the adversarial process could make their relationship even more antagonistic, take longer, and be expensive, he was also concerned that the mediation process was not for them. He thought that, because of the existing stress in their relationship, they would not have the capacity to have a civil conversation and make joint decisions. I suggested that they come in for one or two mediation sessions and then decide if this was the right process for them. If it was not, they could always take the adversarial route.

One session led to two, and ended in four sessions. Step by step they worked on every issue together:

  • Custody and a parenting schedule;
  • Division of assets, including how to keep joint ownership of their marital home;
  • Child support; and
  • Spousal maintenance.  

The sessions were truly amazing. The spouses were patient with each other, putting their children at the forefront of their conversations. They worked in good faith through some issues which were somewhat complicated. They also learned how to relate to each other in discussing issues surrounding the children and their finances.

Even though both parties were tense at the outset, as they made decisions and progressed, I could feel their tension slowly ebbing. This led them to become more respectful of each other and more generous in the way they approached the sharing of their assets.

Were there moments of upset and concern about finances and how they would manage living separately? Of course. But as I helped them analyze their projected budgets and see how they could handle the children’s expenses together, they developed a plan that gave them a structure they could work with.

Once they had a road map, they felt more in control and less fearful of the journey ahead. Would adversarial attorneys have given them this opportunity to work together and create this road map? Most likely not.

It was truly a remarkable success for them. And to top it off, I received a lovely note from Brad at the end of the mediation process, thanking me for helping them to preserve their parental relationship 100%.

Are you concerned that the mediation process may not be for you? Please, give it a try. Call me for information at 212-472-8626.

Social Media Comments

Thank you Jennifer for an amazing and wonderful “good news” story of the benefits of Mediation for these separated parents rather than the lengthy adversarial court process.

(Yvette Strawbridge on Linkedin)

Jennifer Safian

jennifer safian. divorce and family mediator
divorce and family mediation
upper east side of manhattan (nyc)
new york, ny
(212) 472-8626
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