{2 minutes to read}  Some couples may be having a hard time with day-to-day life together but are not ready to “throw in the towel” just yet. They are not ready to seek a legal separation or a divorce and give up on everything they have done to create a home together. However, living in close quarters may have become very strained, so they may decide that one spouse will move out temporarily while they try to work things out. During this time, they may choose to see a marriage and family therapist together and/or work on their own specific issues with an individual therapist.

This is called a trial separation and will require some decisions, such as:

  • What does this temporary/trial separation mean to each of them?
  • How will they handle the additional financial constraints associated with a second home?
  • In families with children, when will each parent have time with the children? 

Spouses may also want to work out some ground rules as to:

  • What responsibilities will each parent assume in and outside of the marital home?
  • Will they spend time together? If so, when?
  • How will they handle their social life while living apart? 

They may also address, and put in writing, concerns regarding the children and the marital home so that the party moving out is not:

  • Losing their rights to joint legal custody of the children, if they end up getting a divorce. 
  • Giving up any of the marital assets, especially their share of the house. 

Mediation can be the perfect setting for couples to work out all these issues as well as any other concerns. At the request of the parties, and for each of them to have a copy of the terms of the trial separation in writing, the mediator will prepare an agreement for the couple to sign. 

During the trial separation, both spouses can think about how they want to go forward with their lives. Hopefully, they can start rebuilding their lives together, but if they feel that they are unable to do so, they can come back to mediation to work out the terms of a legal separation or divorce. No matter what decision they arrive at, they will at least go forward knowing that they tried their best to work things out.

If you have any questions about a trial separation, feel free to call us so that we may help you with this transition.

Jennifer Safian

Jennifer Safian

jennifer safian. divorce and family mediator
divorce and family mediation
upper east side of manhattan (nyc)
new york, ny
(917) 881 5206
jpsafian@gmail.com
Jennifer Safian

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