why must our parenting schedule have so many details?

{2 minutes to read} A separating or divorcing family needs to create a parenting plan to determine how they will share time with their children on weekdays, weekends, holidays, and vacations. It takes some effort to draw up these plans so that each parent can have meaningful time with them and ensure that transitions between their two homes are as smooth as possible.

When there are so many other decisions regarding assets, child, and spousal support, parents sometimes say: “We’ll just figure it out.” While you may prefer to avoid getting into so many details when stress levels are high, it is preferable to put in place a structured arrangement including days, times, and even which parent will pick up or drop off the children. If the plan does not include all of these elements, you and the other parent will be on your own to discuss them later, which may lead to bigger conflicts.

Parties may be thinking: “What if we want to make changes? And what if this does not work for us anymore?” Plans can be modified if necessary, but knowing in advance if you will have your children on alternate weekends or Christmas this year or next will allow parents to make their separate plans. Your children will also appreciate knowing in advance when they will spend time with each of their parents.

If you wish to make changes and agree with the other parent, you will work things out easily. If the discussion becomes fraught and results in an argument, you will at least have a plan to follow until you can have a calmer conversation.

Suppose you need to modify the whole parenting plan because of a major change in circumstances. In that case, you can always return to mediation and get help working out a new arrangement.

Creating a structure and a road map to navigate years of co-parenting will give you peace of mind and provide your children with more stability.

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Jennifer Safian

jennifer safian. divorce and family mediator
divorce and family mediation
upper east side of manhattan (nyc)
new york, ny
(917) 881 5206
jpsafian@gmail.com