divorcing? take a sip of water!

{2 minutes to read}

Emotions can run very high during the divorce process, especially when having overly sensitive conversations where you push each other’s buttons as you discuss issues of disagreement. Both of you start arguing, talking loudly over one another. No one can hear anything anymore. It is time to stop and catch your breath.

How do you regain your composure and get yourself into a better place, pick up where you left off, continue the discussion, and make difficult decisions with your soon-to-be ex-spouse?

I suggest taking a sip of water! Take the bottle or glass in your hand and drink a few sips of water, slowly. Remember to breathe in and out between sips. Count to 4 as you breathe in and 6 as you breathe out. You will be surprised at how such a simple activity can bring your emotions down.

During my mediation sessions, I practice this with my clients. When they become highly emotional, I let them express their feelings for a moment and then suggest that all three of us pick up our bottles of water, take some sips, and breathe. Hydration can help lower your blood pressure and bring energy back into your cells. Breathing will also help you relax.

Those few minutes of silence, where nothing is being said, will help everyone regain their composure and prepare to tackle these sensitive and emotional topics.

While separation and divorce can bring up some challenging moments, there will be other times in your life where you may find it helpful to pause, and take a few moments to refocus before resuming the dialogue or discussing the event that caused the upset.

Just take that sip of water . . . sounds simple, but try it . . . it does work!

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Jennifer Safian

jennifer safian. divorce and family mediator
divorce and family mediation
upper east side of manhattan (nyc)
new york, ny
(917) 881 5206
jpsafian@gmail.com