{4 minutes to read}  Some parents wonder if it is important to inform their children’s school that they are getting a divorce. Here are some of the reasons why alerting the school will help your children: 

Should I tell my children’s school that we are getting a divorce? 

The answer is unequivocally yes.

This may be difficult, but notifying the school is part of how you can help your children with the transition from one to two homes. Don’t put your children in the position of having to tell the school what is happening in their home.

What should I say?

Depending on the age of your children, when you talk to the head of the school, ask if they will notify other people who interact with your children such as the nurse or the teachers, or if you should speak to them directly. You do not need to discuss the reasons for your divorce nor give any details on each other’s behaviors, just inform them of your separation. You might also give them a copy of your parenting schedule, and if necessary, let them know who is responsible for the children on any particular day.

Contact information

The school needs both your and the other parent’s contact information. Let them know which parent should be called first in case of emergency.

If there is any change in who will pick up the children from school, let them know as well. Ask the school to share all email communications with both of you so that you can be apprised of all important information such as holiday schedules, parent-teacher conferences, children’s performances, and school events. 

Let the school know which parent will be responsible for any payments due so they can properly address their invoices.

Attention to the children

Children do not always present the same behaviors at home and at school. Your children may seem like they are handling the divorce well on the home front, but at school, they may show other signs such as slipping grades, lack of attention, or changes in their interaction with other children.

The school must be informed so that they can be attentive to your children’s well-being and notify you if they have a concern.

Parent-teacher conferences and school events

If possible, make a point of attending parent-teacher conferences together. If not possible, the parent who goes to the conference should inform the other parent after the meeting. Schools don’t usually offer separate sessions to parents, but you want them to know that you are parenting together. You also want your children to know that both parents are interested in their lives at school.

If your children are in a play/concert or participate in a sport, make an effort to attend and sit together so that your child is not searching all over the auditorium for each parent. Your children need your support and want to be seen by both of you. 

Remember that your children’s time at school is a huge part of their lives. Even though you are not there with them during the day, those school days are the equivalent of your work life. Give them the attention and all the support they need so they can thrive and get through difficult times in the best way possible.

Jennifer Safian

Jennifer Safian

jennifer safian. divorce and family mediator
divorce and family mediation
upper east side of manhattan (nyc)
new york, ny
(917) 881 5206
jpsafian@gmail.com
Jennifer Safian

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