Why Go to Family Mediation?

{3:00 minutes to read} My mother died without a will. Our stepfather is still alive. There are also 4 siblings, and we can’t agree on how to divide up the estate. Agree?? George isn’t speaking to Alice. Mary Margaret blames me for trying to run the show. How are we going to get everyone around the table to discuss and find some resolution?

All families experience conflict. What varies is the intensity of the conflict, and whether it prevents the family members from maintaining a close connection and/or uniting in times of crisis. In fact, it’s when a crisis occurs that family relationships are often put to the test.

Can family members tackle the challenges together and find solutions, or will the inability to find those solutions tear them even further apart?

If family members are not successful in working through their differences together, they often end up blaming each other because of issues carried over from the past. This is usually not only counterproductive to resolving the present problem but may take things from bad to worse and create further antagonism and resentment between the parties.

Can family members admit to themselves that they may need some help with coming to some resolution?

It takes a strong sense of self to admit to one’s relatives that we “messed” up. But frequently, the situation is not the result of one person’s actions. When that happens, each person gets entrenched in his or her own beliefs, making it almost impossible to reach any kind of resolution.

Family members need to start leveling with one another and thinking cooperatively in order to resolve the issues and move forward.

Opting for a neutral trained professional to facilitate the conversation can often improve the chances for resolution. The mediator will ask the right questions, helping the parties to generate different options and examining the pros and cons of each. They may then be able to find an acceptable common ground from which to proceed.

Going to family mediation is not admitting defeat. Rather, it is recognizing that sometimes we need help in resolving complicated situations. The goal is to foster more cooperation and happiness within the family.

In our next article, we will give you 12 tips to help you and your family prepare for family mediation.

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Jennifer Safian

jennifer safian. divorce and family mediator
divorce and family mediation
upper east side of manhattan (nyc)
new york, ny
(917) 881 5206
jpsafian@gmail.com